A Brief Treatise on God

I am aware I said I would brief. I’m not yet sure if that’s possible given the subject matter at hand.

A lots of stuff has been written and said about God. I tend to doubt I have any new insights to add about God, given everything that’s already been said, either by God Himself, or all the people that have theorized about Him. And while those things are good to know, it’s the things that aren’t said I find most interesting.

I’ve tried coming up with a personality profile of God. As the Fabulous Roya says, “I do not judge, I make assessments.” I can’t presume to judge God when I lack full knowledge of Him or his motives, but He’s pretty clear about what His primary objective is.

By myself I have sworn, my mouth has uttered in all integrity a word that will not be revoked: Before me every knee will bow; by me every tongue will swear.

For my money, that statement is more telling about God’s purpose than anything else He’s ever said. God swore an oath upon Himself that He would accomplish this.

Humans blithely swear oaths all the time without thinking about what they’re saying. I’m telling you the truth, I swear to God! I couldn’t tell you how many lies I’ve heard that were supported by that line.

An oath used to be something sacred. And binding. If an oath was sworn, it had to be fulfilled or there were dire consequences.

I have no idea what sort of consequences God would face if he fails to fulfill his oath. He swore upon Himself as there is no one higher than He. God would essentially have to impose a punishment upon himself if he fails, and that’s not likely. As near as I can tell, God has never lost at anything.

But let’s suppose God fails to achieve His prime objective. After all, He is dealing with humans, and if there’s one variable that can screw up any plan, it’s humans. In which case, I conclude the punishment falls not on God, but on us.

When you take a long look at this, God isn’t asking for much from us. Obedience and worship. But those two things, well, they’re pretty much everything. And those two things are choices we have to make.

Free will. God can’t make us do anything. If He could, I’m sure this world would be a far better place than it is now. But if everyone on this planet could perfectly perform those two actions, all the stupid shit would vanish in one day.

God just might be a little crazy. This is my assessment, so you don’t have to agree with me. But from my point of view, God has to be crazy for thinking humans are the perfect vessel to achieve His goals. According to God, we are his masterpiece.

And while we are capable of some pretty amazing stuff, humans have also done some pretty dark and heartless shit. And sadly, that aspect of human behavior appears to be getting worse, not better.

If I were God, I would’ve stopped with ants, or maybe bees. Their societies are far more harmonious and efficient than ours will probably ever be. Plus, bees can fly. And they make honey.

I have to believe God knows what He’s doing, and that is about the extent of my faith. When it comes to God, I have far more questions than I do answers. If you’re looking for a man of little faith, look no further. You’ve found him.

God is perceived to be All-knowing and All-powerful. Like most guys, I can’t wrap my mind around this. And I have a vivid imagination. I have trouble remembering my Social Security number anymore, and I’ve had it memorized since I was in Basic Training.

As for All-powerful, you’re talking to the wrong guy. Our cat seemingly has more control of my life than I do. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. She appears to know what she’s doing.

From what I can tell, we view God in this manner because that’s how He described Himself, much like the Great and Powerful Oz, and we all know how that story turned out.

But, God can’t lie!

He can’t?

No! It’s a sin! It’s one of the Ten Commandments!!

Yeah. There’s no commandment that says you cannot lie. You can’t bear false witness against someone else, but you can make up all the crap you want about yourself. I like to think that the laws that apply to us, must in some way also apply to God. Those who uphold the Law cannot themselves rebel against it.

All of the main characters in the first books of the Bible lied about something. Abraham, lied. Isaac, lied. Rebekah, lied. Jacob, really lied. David, lied his ass off! David, the beloved of God. David, the man after God’s own heart.

It wasn’t until after David had schemed to have Bathsheba’s husband killed that God finally said, Now you’ve gone too far. And God’s punishment for David was severe.

My Christian friends say these examples of human frailty illustrate how God can work wonders with imperfect people, and they completely miss the point. God didn’t care that his chosen people lied because if He did, that’s not something He would’ve been able to ignore.

God never looks the other way. God never sweeps anything under the carpet. He doesn’t give you a mulligan. Every swing counts.

Look. God is our Heavenly Father, right? And parents lie to their children all the time. Remember a guy named Santa Claus? Why do parents perpetuate a story they know is false? Because the story is magical, and everyone should believe in something magical, at least once.

Name one thing more inherently magical than God. I’ll wait…

So, is God really All-knowing? Even if He isn’t, He knows far more than we’ll ever know. He knows enough, and then some.

Is God really All-powerful? He’s powerful enough to to kick all of our asses, with one hand tied behind His back. He’s more than powerful enough.

I seriously doubt that God is exactly what we think He is, but the reality of what He might be in no way diminishes the amount of respect and awe that I have for Him. And that’s the most compelling reason I have to want to be a prophet.

God is worthy.

But that creates somewhat of a dilemma for me. I’m not aware of any prophet that had to apply for the job. From what I can tell, God chose them, not the other way around.

My lovely supermodel wife thinks I am absolutely crazy for wanting to do this. If I could speak feline, I’d ask my cat for her opinion, but she would probably discourage this ambition of mine. Unless God agreed to lift her up on the couch whenever she wanted. And give her a lots of pizza.

Yeah, my cat loves pizza.

Well, I did imply I’d be brief, so I’ll stop here. But I have a lots more to say about God. So we’ll visit this neighborhood again.

Have a great day, and Merry Christmas.

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