I’ve been way too serious of late. So, here’s one of my favorite jokes.
* * * *
A guy comes home from a long day work at the pickle factory. He has a worried look on his face, and sits down at the kitchen table. His wife comes into the kitchen, and says, “Hi honey! How was your day?”
“I’ve got a problem.” he says after a few moments. “You can’t tell anyone about this, but I really want to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work.”
“Oh, honey! You can’t do that!” she said. Her husband had been blessed by God, if you know what I mean, and as a result, so was she. “I mean, the pickle slicer?!? That sounds like a really bad idea!!
“You think I don’t know that! It’s a really, really bad idea!”
“Well, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should see a doctor…”
“Oh, that’s great! Now you think I should see a shrink…”
“No! Not if you don’t want to, but honey, the pickle slicer…”
“I know, you’re right. I’ll tell you what. If this feeling doesn’t go away in a couple of days, I’ll go see a doctor.”
“Okay, but promise me you’ll be careful.”
The next day, the guy comes home from work. He still looks worried, and sits down at the table again. His wife rushes into the kitchen.
“How was work?” she asked, then held her breath.
“It was hell. I tried to ignore it, but I still want to stick my dick in the pickle slicer at work.”
“I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment for you. I’m really scared for your–I mean, you!”
“No, not yet. If it doesn’t get any better tomorrow, I’ll go see the doctor.”
“Okay…but promise me you’ll be careful, please! I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to your—to you.”
The next day, the guy comes home at noon. He sits down at the table, but he no longer looks worried. In fact, he has a big smile on his face.
“Honey? What’re you doing home so early? Is everything okay?”
“Honey, I tried to fight that feeling I’ve been having, but today I just said the hell with it, and I did it. I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer at work!”
“Noooooooooo!” his wife cried, and then she looked at her husband. He didn’t look like he was, you know, injured. “Well, what happened?”
“Duh! I got fired.”
“Well, what happened to the pickle slicer?”
“Oh, she got fired, too.”